Larry and Luberta

When I was kid my DDD made me a sharp-shooter. I was a dead-pan shot with the bb gun so it was up to me to kill the flying squirrels that would infest our attic in Ocean Pines every year. I would stand on a latter with my upper half in the attic in the dark during the day and when their heads would poke up silhouetted in the light in the steeple of the rafters I would take them out. That was in the seventies. Recently, I was tempted to tap my assassin of small animal skills once again, fortunately fate would intervene.

Larry and Luberta were love birds. Pigeons actually, they were cruising our street looking for a love nest early this spring. They choose our attic or garage more specifically. I had left the access panel open in the ceiling of our garage and they set up house there just above our back door driving my children and dogs crazy. My kids were afraid, Tyler was livid, my wife put out a contract on them and Emma (our Golden Doodle) didn’t seem to have an opinion.

After a week of cooing and purring and pooping and Tyler (our Golden) barking his head off I had to take action. I put up the latter and as Suzy and the girls were pulling out on the driveway in the car I climbed up after the birds. I remember thinking, “What am I going to do when I get up there, grab them with my bare hands?” I also remember thinking that while I am holding on to the latter and reach eye level with the little beggars they could peck my eyes out. When I got face to face with the big one he did a little dance in a circle and puffed up his chest huge and I had the feeling he was about to attack so I reached out and grabbed him with my bare hands.

Zero panic. He got real calm and started to purr and then he started to bite me. His bites were ineffectual and the sense I got was that he was afraid of nothing. I took a step or two down the latter and threw him towards the open garage door. He flew out and then right back in and was coming after me. I climbed up and grabbed the littler one and threw her toward the door and she flew away, but Larry, he’s a fighter. He didn’t seem to like the idea of me closing the attic hatch, but I completed my mission and retreated into the house. Tyler was barking like a mad man.

For the next several weeks Larry and Luberta lived on the upper shelves of our garage and Larry kept getting more and more aggressive. Once he was coming right at me and I batted him with a removable doggie door. I wacked him pretty good and he crashed to the ground. He shook it off, danced his little jig, puffed up his chest, and came right back at me. I was stunned by his courage. He flew right at my face, but instead of hitting him again I thought I would let him take his best shot, he deserved it. Instead he landed right on my head and did his dance cooing and purring. He then he jumped down on my shoulder and purred right in my ear and literally gave me the chills. Larry and Luberta continued to live with us into the summer. They would perch on our window sills and watch us through the windows. They became a part of our little family and in the end only Tyler never fell to their charm.

One day Larry came up missing. Luberta looked so lonely without him. About a week went by and he shows up with two mangled feet. They were bloody and he could stand on one of them, but the other was definitely missing a few toes (if that’s what you call them). He couldn’t hold on to the window sills anymore so he hung out on the ground outside our front door. The girls fed him and petted him and gave him love. He healed up in a week or so. Then Luberta left him and he became really sad. He turned all his affections on me and my girls. We all love Larry.

He’s been missing a week or so. We checked and pigeons don’t migrate so we’re getting pretty worried about him. I’m sure he’ll be fine. He’s a fighter.