Father in law

This one is long over due. When it comes to dads I've been doubly blessed. If you've read any DDD posts you know how I feel about my father. I've said before you don't fully appreciate someone until they're gone. I unfortunately have learned this with hard lived experience with loved ones now gone knowing only now what they actually meant to me. 

This post is a little different for me as the person I am writing about is most likely going to read it. Pat Mentone is a great man. Truely humble. It may be harder for him to read it than it will be for me to write it.

This picture of Pat is maybe 3X5 in a little wood frame and has been around since Suzy and I met. I picture her having it on her desk up at BC as a college freshman being homesick wishing she was paddling the 10,000 lakes back home with her Dad.

So today I'm thinking about straightening up my office and my desk cluttered with three big frames laying flat, Suzy's diplomas from BC and CU Law and her Law Liciense (there since she left her last office at Killian Davis). On top of them is a random pile of my girl's report cards, pictures I've gathered to post about, tax returns, Mary's art, old mail, old headphones, new trash, and other stuff. A Veritable    mountain of stuff. As I sit to sort through it so I can get to Suzy's diplomas to hang them as a surprise I become completely distracted by this little wood framed picture of Pat standing on the back corner of my desk. I don't remember putting it there. I can't remember the last time I've even seen it before. 

I imagine it maybe has arrived the same time as Suzy's diplomas. Maybe she had it at her old office. I imagine her working away running that crazy law firm, being homesick, and looking at this picture wishing she was home paddling the 10,000 lakes with her dad.

It's a beautiful thing. Pat and Mary still live in the home Suzy grew up in. She's in her 40's and can still go home. Home. There is probably only one word  that warms my heart more than home. Love. I love our home. We love our home. We love our family. I love being a dad. I will gladly spend the rest of my life trying to be the dad my father was to me and trying to emulate the dad my father in law is to me now. 

Pat is everything in a man I wish to be. He is calm. He is patient. He is kind. In the nineteen years I've known him I have never once seen him loose his temper. Never once have I heard him raise his voice. When he gives advice he gives it in a way I can understand and from the heart so it gives no offense. His toast at our wedding was the secret to a happy marriage, "You need to have a sense of humor and a short memory."

Early on he gave me some financial advice I strive to live up to. "You need to learn how to live on less than what you make."

My brother in law Brent who married my sister always so comfortably called my parents mom and dad. To this day I call Suzy's parents Pat and Mary. Now that they are also my daughters' grandparents we all call them Pop Pop and Grandma, but I'm sure Mary would prefer me calling her Mary than calling her grandma. Since our youngest is also named Mary and is no longer Baby-Mary, we discussed maybe calling them Little Mary and Big Mary, but Big Mary made it clear she would much prefer just Mary. 

Pat is really tough. You couldn't tell by talking or walking with him or by his demeanor. You have to know all he's been through and the amount of pain he has had to deal with in his life. Recently he got his second hip replaced and how he was able to get around this last Spring break and hit balls at Pro-golf, tour an aquarium, and drive from Phoenix to Saint Paul with bone on bone in his hip shows some serious tolerance for pain. As a college kid he was blown up when his chemistry lab exploded. He almost didn't make it, but fortunately his mom's prayers and his will to survive carried him through.

It's ironic I'm posting about him here on Dumbdumbdaddayo because he's so smart. He's a PhD chemist and an engineer and an MBA and really good at figuring things out. He's naturally curious and really good at adopting new technology. He was using Skype before I had ever even heard of it. Sent us  this little laptop camera like 14 years ago and said plug it in so we can Skype our grand-daughter. I think back then we were still on a dialup modem, but it still worked.

These pictures from Spring break show the real story. I am so blessed to still have a dad in my life. Pat , I really appreciate you and Mary. I love you Mom and Dad. Looking forward to seeing you again soon.  Hope you are healing well and have a great time with Suzy and Chloe in Italy this Fall. I'm so happy for Chloe. Who better to experience Italy with than your Italian Pop Pop!