Seeing Mom was great. She struggles with severe short-term memory loss and gets really confused, but she knows who she is and recognizes me. The idea of not being able to make new memories terrifies me, But this is a happy post so I will not dwell in the negative. My mom is happy. She had spent her entire life being happy happy. It’s something she would always say. Even named the boat Happy Happy, I sorta liked it, J hated it.
Anyway she’s happy.
I saw her Tuesday and Wednesday and it is now Saturday. I spent a lot of time in the solitude of traveling alone. Thought a lot about what she said. Thought a lot about everything. I been working on becoming more mindful. Being present. Being engaged. And I realized my mom had been focused and engaged. She listened to everything I’d said and wouldn’t remember any of it. Tomorrow she will not remember I was there. When we are talking about something she remembers she is completely engaged. When talking about tomorrow she concentrates and starts getting confused. So I let her drive the conversation and it went well. She talked about her and Dad watching all my sports games. She told me how proud my father was about what a special athlete and student I was. And how he so loved our wedding and he told her it was like being in Heaven. Or what he hoped Heaven would be like. It was great to hear.
She said how much love and happiness I had brought into the family. She said she would not have known what to do whiteout me showing her how to move on with life after Karen died. I said no Mom it was you and Dad who helped us live on. The agenda was life and you and Dad lived it. And what a good life it is. She said you sound like your father. I told her people think I look like him. She said he had more hair.
She is in the moment and that is enough.
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