Tuesday, June 4, 2019

Dear Dad,

Hi Dad,
Hope you are well, well, you know, besides being on the other side. What's it like where you are? I sure wish you could answer me. Seriously. Are you aware of this world or have you truly moved on to a better place? I bet you have established yourself well in the Spirit World. I hope and have faith you are  with Karen and Carol. 
From the last posts you can see Kayla has become quite a golfer. She made it to the Colorado Sate Championship by shooting an 89 in the qualifier. I'm so proud of her. So proud of her sisters too. 
Sorry I haven't written lately. So busy with family and work and to be honest I think I have lost my voice. After writing Vivus I seem to have lost some steam. I know I still have tons of stories to tell and things to say, but recently inspiration has abandoned me. 
One idea I've been thinking about came to me while I was trying to write a poem. I wrote Sad Mad Bad Dad. I realized I had the first line of a bad poem or the title of a great book that could help a lot of men out there like me. I haven't been writing lately so I thought I'd talk over some ideas with you and see how it sounds.
As men we do not know what to do about being sad. We ignore it. Run from it. We work through it. We workout. We eat. We drink. We turn to drugs and alcohol to mask the pain of sadness.We fantasize. We fight. We get angry. We get mad. We can do something with mad. We weild some control and aim our anger here or there. We hurt people. We feel guilty. Guilt allows us to turn our anger on ourselves. We hurt ourselves. We get what we think we deserve. We fail. We feel that we do not deserve to succeed. That we don't deserve to be happy.
Anger and guilt are fueled by unresolved saddness. There is a lot of saddness in the world. A lot. There is unbearable grief. There is loss to great to even imagine. There is sickness and pain, suffering and hunger. There is death. Everyone knows loneliness and fear.
It makes me sad. Being sad makes me mad. Feeling guilty I can do so little about all the injustice in the world. Being mad and guilty makes me a bad dad. A sad mad bad dad!
It has taken me a lot of hard living to learn what I am about to share. It is OK to be sad. Everything will be OK, even if it isn't. There are keys to happiness. I will share with you these keys, but only you can turn them and unlock the door. Only you can walk through.
1. Forgive yourself, you are only human.
2. Forgive those who have wronged you, even if they do not deserve it.
3. Be grateful. Gratitude will change your attitude.
4. Work on your S.O.U.L. Self, know thy Self. Take Ownership, own it. Take responsibility. Be Un-selfish and be kind. Know that you are the only you that there will ever be. Value what is unique about You. Love. Love thyself so that you may love others. So that you can love. This Love will make you part something Larger than thyself.  
5. Know that God loves you.
6. Know that God wants you to be happy.

Well, it's a work in progress, but what do you think? I think there is something there.

I'm also thinking about writing a motivational book on team building. The title is Champions. There's an acronym for it too. LOVE. Larger, commit to something Larger than thyself. Take Ownership of the teams preformance. VE value everybody! The strength of a team lies in its members differences. Synergy is created by combining what is different about each other. Powerful synergy is created by combining various strengths and rendering each other's weaknesses irrelevant. 

Thanks Dad for listening. I miss You.

Love,
Bitty-buddy