The First Keith Family Portrait Without Karen

This was the first family portrait without Karen. If you can get past the liesure suits or my dad's 3 piece suit it's a pretty good shot. I remember a lot about getting it. I think J didn't want to go, but he hated all such family affairs. My mom looks great barring the pirate shirt.  My dad looks like he recently lost his daughter and a natural smile was just not possible. Carol looks beautiful just like I remember her. J well hard not to notice the giant collars that covers the shoulders. I wish I still had my corduroy liesure suit with leather should patch. I'll wear anything from 1976 and rock it. Back then it wasn't so much what you wore as how you wore it. I must say it was quite brave of my parents to pull us together and take this portrait. Guess that's what you do. You keep living. You carry on.

 

Owning the Plaid jacket and bow tie. I would bet big J still has a plaid jacket and bow tie and white Bucks too. He has always been so dapper. 

This one is pretty casual. I'm wondering who took it. Maybe Aunt Lynda maybe a friend. Judging by the amount and existence of hair this would have to be one of first family photos with Brent. What a blessing when he came into our lives. I must have been 15. Right around then he taught me how to drive stick shift in his brand new car. He was so patient and wouldn't let me quit. You don't forget a thing like that. This blog has focused a lot on the losses we've faced, but I must not take for granted all the additions that have come into this family. Brent was the first. But Suzy and the Mentone's (sounds like a band) and our girls and our dogs and I feel so blessed and loved I'm tearing up as I write this. Maybe a good place to stop.

My 51st birthday dinner last night at the club. There are always challenges and life ain't perfect, but I look at this picture and realize it's pretty darn close. 

Dancing with the Stars

Watched some Dancing with the Stars this fine Monday night with Suzy. The theme was your greatest year ever or some such nonsense. When I found myself having to hide my tears over Mr. T's story and dance I decided to retire earlier. I've found being as emotional and empathetic as I am it's best to pick my battles. While I lay in the tub thinking how absurd it was to have only one greatest year I couldn't help thinking of one of my greatest weeks full of tragedy and victory and love and sorrow and life and death. The week my dad died and my daughter was born and then Suzy's grandmother died and Hell of a week. Go life! 

While I'm thinking this Suzy comes in asking if I was mediating. I said sort of. She said a football player on DWTS just made her think of me and she wished I'd seen it. Said he was in college on a football scholarship when he found out his dad had a stroke, had diabetes and was in need of amputation so he left his scholarship behind and moved home to help care for his father. And still he somehow made it to the NFL. I thought more like and because of this he made it to the NFL. He learned early in life to follow his heart. It reminded me of something DDD would always say when the chips were down, "GO LIFE!" I always thought he was being sarcastic. Now I think he meant it. A lot. This picture must of been around when he was my age now. The hat cracks me up and my mom sporting a PBR, well, we are who we are. This next picture really makes me think Go Life!

The Keith's 1966/67 so much tragedy right there before us along with so much comedy. So much life! He would not have traded it for the world. At his funeral his little brother from his fraternity said a great thing, said, "Jeff had only one thing on his agenda...life. And he wasted no time living it." A whole lot of it. Go life!

William Penrose

The last post was a little unfair to my mom, and a typical knee jerk response to something she would typically say without any intention of hurting my feelings or embarrassing me. In fact she is the sweetest lady I have ever known. Everyone has always loved her. Seriously. She has this glow about her. An honest and friendly smile. And most importantly she cares. She loves. She does what she can for who she can when she can. She can tell a story. As her youngest son I have been the main character in most. As her difficult son I have been the butt of her best jokes, deservedly so. I have done some pretty crazy, stupid stuff growing up and agree they make great and funny stories. Her lack of filter and willingness to share the most personal information to just about anyone at any time has given me incredibly thick skin. From her I have learned it is always better to be frank and say what needs to be said to whom it needs to be said sooner rather than later. Be honest be nice be direct and be funny. From when I was 13 years old and on up to even being married the first opportunity she had to talk to my girlfriend, fiance or wife and usually not alone would ask if they were using adequate birth control.

I guess im going on and on. Let me get to the point of this post. My mom said something else to my wife. Something I never knew about her side of the family. She told Suzy she had grown up poor. Said her father went to only one year of college and then had to drop out because his parents couldn't afford to pay tuition.

William Penrose, my grandfather, grew up poor? William Penrose. Lawyer, Owner of the S.S. Penrose (cabin cruiser yacht), grew up poor?  William Penrose. the man my dad spent his life trying to emulate and impress, grew up poor?

Its not that I didn't believe her. It's just that it is opposite the assumption I had been living with my whole life. William and Grace Penrose from Bethesda, Maryland. Members of Kenwood Country Club, yacht owners, passers down of Silver Serving Sets and finest china, retirees from a penthouse apartment on River Road, I had always assumed they earned their success the old fashioned way with hard work of course, but also a great deal of inheritance from the Estate of Penrose! As I write this I am ashamed to confess I do not know my great grandfather's name on my mothers son. Never got to meet my grandfather Mr. William Penrose, but I do carry is name.

Suzy explained she said after one year of collage he had to come home because they could not afford his tuition so he went to work and met my grandmother Grace. They married and had my mom. He then worked his way through law school (back then you didn't need a 4 year degree to get into law school). When my mom turned fifteen my grandparents had become successful enough to have another baby, my aunt Linda. I had always assumed she was a late in life love child.

I'll have to confirm this, but the impression I got from my dad was that he didn't practice law. He was a lawyer, a multi-association Director, and a Lobbyist. Just like Dumbdumbdaddyo. For a while their I fancied myself a poet and author of fiction and my pen name was magnificent, Sir William Penrose. Now I must research the father of my mother. My name sake deserves better than a bunch of false assumptions and blatant negligence and ignorance of recent family history.

I hope learning about William Penrose will work out better than learning about Anderson Keith who was thrown out of the house and ate scrambled eggs and drank bourbon whisky until he died. Kinda put a damper on things. During one of the last rehabs I did with my father after his last amputation, I would ask him deep thought provoking questions to try and spark interesting thought patterns in his stroke damaged mind. I asked him to say one nice thing about his dad, my grandfather. Long silences, sleep, shoulder grunts. Dad, tell me one good thing about my grand father. Followed by another long pregnant silence with uncomfortable shifting in bed. Why do you to know this?  He's was your dad. Without him there's no you without you there is no me. Is there anything you can tell me about him you think I should know? Long silence, almost to the point I thought he fell asleep or forgot what I had asked. Then a low growling roar, "after mom kicked him out he ate scrambled eggs and drank bourbon whiskey until he died." OK dad tell me about your mom?